Category Archives: People Are Idiots

Based on Actual Events

The puppy raiser watched in disbelief as the idiot let his three dogs — each one dragging a leash behind it — wander along the hillside path, relieving indiscriminately and digging up the recently planted indigenous vegetation, sending a hail of dirt out onto the concrete walkway.

She was close enough to see the man, to see that he knew what his dogs were doing but didn’t plan to take action. The idiot had seen the dog stopped several yards behind him, had seen the puppy raiser standing there while the dog was stopped, had seen the puppy raiser glare at him as she pulled the bag out of her pocket and picked up his dog’s waste.

So when she caught up with him and handed him a small blue bag full of Pomeranian poo, with a civil but pointed “I believe this is yours,” she was not surprised in the least at his response.

“Oh, huhhuh, is it?” He laughed nervously and flicked his eyes toward the offender, who was still pawing furiously at the dirt.

“Yes, perpetrated by the same one who’s currently digging back there.”

“Oh, uh, huhhuh, is he?” Another quick glance at the digger.


“Hehheh, yeah, it’s tough having three dogs, y’know?”

“Yeah,” she replied, letting her better judgment filter out the things she wanted to say as she maintained control of her mouth and her puppy (who, despite the understandable distraction of three very close-proximity and thankfully friendly dogs, was doing pretty well). “And it’s tough having just one when other people let their dogs run around illegally off-leash.”

Next time, thought the puppy raiser, she’d look at one of the dogs’ ID tags, and maybe their irresponsible owner would get a nice letter or phone call from Los Angeles Parks & Rec or Animal Control.

Or maybe even someone pretending to be from Los Angeles Parks & Rec or Animal Control.

She wondered what the fine was for violating the leash law and posted signage….